#gay rat alert

[hkayakh]

Sam O’ Nella has once again made the funniest thing in history

[mrghostrat]

how ✨spicy✨ is vampire AU gonna be? we talkin flawless levels? 👀

(im so so pumped about this au!!! You write pining so well and it FEEDS ME 🩸)

HMMM i haven’t fully decided how explicit the spicy scenes are gonna be, but there are at least three fucks in the fic 👁️👁️ and waaaayy more ideas for bonus/epilogue scenes

[rateatrock]

“I love you bunny!!”

….

“GO FUCK YOURSELF”

[megapocalypse]

Bingqiu Doppelganger AU:

When Luo Binghe first confessed to Shen Yuan, the only reaction he had was pure shock. Staring and gaping at Binghe, at the time, he didn't know what to make of it. He never gave his response then.

To be fair, his friends knew it was a long time coming and apparently Shen Yuan had just never noticed... for the past 10 years.

"You never noticed him pining?" Shang Qinghua chimed in to him during post confession, when he texted him his whole freakout before then.

He made sure to give him a scathing roast, leaving nothing left unburned by his words. He remembers his thumbs hurting numb from how long he typed...

He hasn't really spoken to Binghe since, he's been reluctant to read his text messages from him.

Shen Yuan stood over at the hill of a mountain, leaning over the fencing while staring at the waterfall in front of him. In his hand he held a butterfly jade pendant. He looked at it, wondering if this was what caused all the trouble.

Binghe and him have been friends since childhood, he's been with him through everything, to the time of his mother passing and up until graduation. When they were in 5th grade sometime during New Years, Binghe had given him a matching jade necklace he bought from a nearby gift shop that was in the shape of a butterfly.

"It reminds me of you," he said with a toothy smile. "Remember? It's like the story of Liang Zhu."

Shen Yuan used to read that tale to him as it was one of his favorites, to help Binghe with his reading.

"Mm, let's promise to stay together forever!"

Oh, what a sweet and cute child Binghe was back then, even at that age he still had those puffy cute cheeks that Shen Yuan likes to pinch from now and then.

But how was Shen Yuan supposed to know of his intentions! He just thought he was being cute!! To harbor such feelings at that age...

And up until then, with Binghe now a whole head taller than him telling him that his intentions as a kid were to promise marriage...

Saying, "Yuan-ge... I really, really like you," with such a sweet handsome smile that'd blind a man. "I'd like to maybe marry you someday..."

But Shen Yuan isn't gay, okay?!

What was he supposed to tell him then? How was he supposed to- ..to turn him down?

It's been about a week or so since then, albeit Shen Yuan has lost track of time. He grips the necklace in front of him. Shang Qinghua told him that the waterfalls near LingXi caves have a legend, that if you drop something precious into the river and wish for something, it'll manifest itself before you.

But, Shen Yuan isn't going to throw his necklace in, that'd just be plain stupid. He's never been one to believe in superstition anyway.

Yes, this is all very stupid. He's just here to clear his mind, to try and figure out a way to-

Plop

Dread drops down into Shen Yuan's stomach...

Shit!!!

...

...

Unknown to Shen Yuan, an ominous aura had emitted from the mountain, the fog cleared to reveal an unknown figure lurking.

---------------

Shen Yuan couldn't believe himself, really. How was he supposed to confront Binghe now?

Days have gone by since then, he still really hasn't done jack, but.

This is all Shang Qinghua's fault! That slimy, sleazy little rat...

"You have to talk to him at some point," he said.

"Go fuck yourself," Shen Yuan said back.

And yet here he was about to meet Binghe again, waiting outside a quaint cafe they used to visit. His hand shakily reached towards the doorknob, as Shang Qinghua pushed him through. The chime of the door alerts Binghe.

"Yuan-ge!"

Shen Yuan jolts, he slowly cracks an eye open, only to blink in surprise. Sitting next to Binghe was a pale white figure of a man, he looked almost too bright. His eyes green, his hair white, a long slender figure sitting next to Binghe in such close proximity.

"What-" Shen Yuan sputtered, he couldn't believe his eyes.

Shang Qinghua only gave a cheeky whistle in the background, but Shen Yuan was far too shocked to be annoyed by such antics.

"This is my boyfriend, Yuan-ge."

The man, his face looked almost like a carbon copy of Shen Yuan's, but more defined and graceful looking. He had a beauty that couldn't compare, he was taller and his hair was longer. It's as if Shen Yuan was looking into a fun house mirror and what reflected was a better more beautiful version of himself.

"His name is Shen Qingqiu." Luo Binghe gave him a smile, sweet around the edges and eyes happily upturned.

The man gave him a smile, interlacing his fingers with Luo Binghe's. Shen Yuan saw something he wished he hadn't, an image he'd never forget, it was the two matching jade necklaces hanging around both of their necks.

It was sickening, Shen Yuan felt sick.

No..

He had a doppelganger.

-------

I have more ideas for this AU but it's going to get kind of freaky 😂. Anyway, I wrote this in a hurry because I had such brain worms over this idea, hopefully some will like the snippet of this. If there's typos then, RIP.

[alientitty]

Persona 5 (Royal) Guys Punchability Rating

Should you, playing as Joker, take a swing at your confidants? Find out here!

I-The Magician: Morgana

Hey, he's just a little kitty cat! It might be annoying how he doesn't let you go out at night and keeps talking when you're trying to read or meditate, but when he's not around it's clear you can barely function without a feline handler. He does keep saying weird shit to Ann though. 3/10

IV-The Emperor: Yusuke Kitagawa

Is it even fair? The guy's a toothpick. He's gonna blow away with the next breeze. His stamina in the Metaverse comes entirely from sitting around thinking about the darkness of the human soul re:art all day. Isn't he a starving orphan? But he does keeping saying out-of-pocket shit and you don't care how gay he is, that's no excuse for being a misogynist. Violence isn't the answer, but he'll feel the passion behind your slap, even if he doesn't entirely approve of the method. 5/10

V-The Hierophant: Sojiro Sakura

Aww, isn't he such a lovable tough guy? Basically your new dad, generational enmity and all. Hey wait why is he checking out your teenage friends. Hitting on all these younger women. Isn't he like 50? 60? If he's in his 60s you worry his brittle bones will shatter on impact, but if it's 50s then he's fair game. Maybe he'll finally trust you after some male bonding through friendly roughhousing and all. Depending on how early it is in the game there's a chance you'll be out on the street, though. 6/10

VI-The Chariot: Ryuji Sakamoto

He's your homeboy, your bro, your best buddy! And sometimes friends deck friends when they get outta line. You do feel kinda bad since he's been trying to channel all those big water sign emotions into becoming a gym rat instead of getting goaded into fights and all, but you'll keep it clean. You love him, but he can be so embarrassing in front of your other friends! Maybe he'd stop chasing skirts like a doofus if he just got some friendly skin-on-skin contact with other guys now and then. Wait, what? Well, anyways, it's totally a fair fight. As you throw the first punch you remember, wait, isn't he a domestic violence survivor? Shit. 9/10

XI-Justice: Goro Akechi

You can't tell if he's actually cool or just pretentious, but you've been waiting for a chance to wipe that shit-eating grin off his pretty face. You bet he has a 15-step skincare routine to get that perfect glow when he delivers a backhanded compliment that subtly conveys how much he thinks he's better than you. Staring each other down across the billiard tables while you play a verbal game of cat-and-mouse isn't enough. This cold war's gotta heat up. And, spoiler alert, he will challenge you to a duel...and then some. This ends with one of you on his knees. 10/10

XII-The Hanged Man: Munehisa Iwai

What beef do you even have with this guy? He's the hot gun guy who gives you custom builds in exchange for glimpses into the life of a Goodfellas side character. Besides, with his history, you don't wanna risk it. He's way too experienced and strong and grizzled and smoldering and...ahem. Maybe you would learn something. 4/10

XVI-The Tower: Shinya Oda

That's a kid. You do wanna punch the people making this poor child's life so hard, though. 0/10

XVIII-The Moon: Yuuki Mishima

He looks up to you so much it just wouldn't be fair. You've seen him beat up so much already that, even if he asked you to fight him, it'd be like kicking a puppy. He can be annoying and a creep and maybe even a little scary sometimes, but a punch is not what he needs. 2/10

XIX-The Sun: Toranosuke Yoshida

Dad?! For real, though, he's just about the only adult in this game besides Lala-chan who seems actually cognizant of the fact that you're a teenager. If you tried to take a swing at him he'd be incredibly disappointed that his lessons didn't stick, and you'd never forgive yourself for letting him down. 1/10

(Igor isn't here because he's nothing. As in, literally immaterial. You can't punch your dreamscape spirit guide with your real life human hands. He's, just, not there.)

1-The Councillor: Takuto Maruki

The most punchable guy in the entire game. Everyone thinks that self-effacing, oblivious beta male act is so charming, but you're not buying it. He's only there for Shujin to cover its ass until it cycles out of the news and is either willingly complicit or too incompetent to notice. He thinks his disarming, approachable shtick is a therapeutic icebreaker, but it's more like a lack of boundaries bordering on malpractice. He's one of those self-described "empaths" who projects his own personal issues onto everybody else and plays the victim when you call him out on it. The last thing you or any other troubled teens need is this bumbling, paternalistic stooge messing around in your heads. Plus, every time he makes that stupid pouty face you wanna slap the license outta him. Hey, does he even have one? 11/10

Bonus: Protagonist/ Joker / Your Name Here

Well, you play as him, so he's kind of you? The dialog options let you be a little mean or creepy sometimes, so I guess it's up to the player to decide if he's a jerk or not. Or you can take all those options as reflective of his personality (add in the fake glasses and Uniqlo mannequin getups, and he's kind of an asshole). Just keep in mind that, for a guy who eats a single loaf of bread at lunch every day, he's surprisingly built and pretty strong. You'll be in for quite a fight you can't back out of if you take a swing at him. At yourself?

??/10

[mjfsupremacy]

EXCHANGE PART TWO

It's been a hot minute since I dropped the first part of this, it's been written for months, I guess I just kinda forgot to post it! Oopsie. Thanks to the folks who read it recently and commented. Reminded me of this cute lil ficcy.

Part One

“Elle.”

Its Friday, an unusually quiet one at that and you decided to tackle Hemmingway, which means you were also simultaneously reading something by Austen and Roxanne Gay to numb the pain. You were leaning back in your chair; ankles crossed on the desk and books and post its strewn around them waiting out the final hour of your shift.

You glance up from your book with a frown. Maxwell leans against the glass with a proud smirk, arms crossed over his broad chest. “Why do you have a highlighter in your mouth? I know things are a little backwards this side of the pond but I think when it comes to holding stuff were in agreement on how its usually done.”

You snatch the pink marker from your teeth quickly offering him a mighty scowl. “Don’t call me ‘Elle’.”

“That chick from last weekend told me your name was ‘Elle’.” He retorts with a roll of his eyes.

“Her name is Lisa, you absolute tosser, and she didn’t tell you my name was ‘Elle,’ you eavesdropped on a conversation where she called me ‘Ellie.’” God you really hate this guy.

“Sorry, I assumed it was a cutesy version of Elle. What’s it short for?” He asks eyes flitting over the mess on her desk, trying to collect any information he can.

“Why?”

“Why does anyone want to know anything?”

“Impetuous nosiness?”

“Or so I know what name to save your number under when you call me. Speaking of which, when were you planning on doing that again, Sugar?”

“The day I tell you my name probably.” You reply bored, your eyes sliding back to A Farewell to Arms. “Wait,” You slide your feet of the desk and stand up suddenly. “How did you get in here? You can’t be in here without someone who lives here.”

Max grins, adjusting his Burberry scarf under his expensive looking coat. “Relax, Toots, my new...friend is outside talking to some girl from her class, she let me in. I’m not standing around in the cold like a poor person while she titters like half her brain was taken in a lobotomy.”

“Well, God forbid you go home with someone and like their personality.” You roll your eyes, relaxing slightly.

“I liked her personality just fine. Both of them.”

Your mouth pulls down in distaste and you all but throw the clipboard and pen at him. “Does the local clinic know about you? I assume the CDC alerted them to your arrival in the country.”

“Haha,” He responds dryly. “Does the local pub know about you? The comedy offerings on Thursday’s got nothing on you.”

You snort taking the clipboard and setting it down. You look him up and down, still leaning against the window in his expensive coat. “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“I am grown, baby, if you’d let me take you out, I’d prove it.”

“How long can you hold your breath? Have you tried tripling it?” You shoot back. He laughs, surprising a small smile out of you. His laugh is brash and loud just like him but there is something genuine within it, like he’s picky with who gets to hear it.

“I’m a wrestler now and hopefully I’ll be one when I grow up too. I’m here on exchange for the year but I wrestle whenever I can. The UK has a strong scene.” He replies openly, his eyes alight as he talks about a subject he clearly adores. You suppose how built he is makes more sense with this information. “Plus, the ring rats out here are way better than the ones in the states.”

Your hesitant to ask but the question falls out anyway, “What’s a ring rat?”

“Wrestling groupies, girls who just come to the shows to fuck the wrestlers.” Maxwell smirks in reply.

“I knew I shouldn’t have asked but I still did. That’s completely on me.” You mutter to yourself, sitting back in your chair with a disgusted sigh and picking up Roxanne Gay’s bad feminist.

“You were reading that book before,” Maxwell points to the red cover of Hemmingway. “Did you forget? I have been known to have that effect on women when I get them alone.”

“You don’t, How I wish I could forget you.” You reply, flicking through the pages. “Hemmingway makes me want to stab myself in the face. You need alternatives or you won’t make it through the book.” You wave bad feminist in his direction.

He gestures for you to pass him the book and you do with a raised eyebrow. He immediately starts flicking through, stopping at the pages filled with notes. “You can read?” You joke, watching his eyes devour the words.

“You write in your books, what, think your better than the greats or something?” He snarls back his eyes never leaving the page he’s settled on.

“Or something.”

He’s quiet for a moment while he flips the book carefully in different directions trying to break apart your loopy handwriting. You aren’t sure why he’s being so gentle with a book you’ve all but taped back together from how many times you’ve stuffed it into tiny bags or pockets but you find it a little bit endearing. “You know they make more sense once you’ve actually read the words that are supposed to be there.”

That gets Maxwell’s attention and he glances up at you, closing the book on his thumb. “Are you saying I can borrow it?”

You frown, that wasn’t anywhere near what you’d meant but you supposed it wouldn’t hurt to let him borrow it. It’s not like he wasn’t around pretty much every weekend. “Sure, you can borrow it. I don’t know if it’s your speed though.”

Maxwell grins, tucking it safely into the inner pocket of his coat before pushing off the glass. “Thanks, gorgeous, I’ll take good care of it. Promise.”

He steps toward the front door and offers you a little smirk and a wave, “Enjoy the rest of your night, Ellie.”

You roll your eyes but offer a wave of your own in the form of a shooing motion. “Until next time, Maxwell.”

His playful smirk evolves into a wide grin and he disappears out the way he came. You shake your head, grabbing your trusty sign I’m sheet.

MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN

2133 361 6693

You have a post it on your shoe. Enjoy your noodles. Call me if you are ever up for real food. -Max

You snatch the orange post it from the bottom of your ugg boot with a groan, finding your shopping list for the week cramped into the small space.

Later when you put the folded-up sheet and the post it into your drawer for a moment you consider saving his number. You were desperate to know what he thought of the book and even more so to know what he was thinking while he read your notes and dissections.

You decide against it, you’d likely see him in a few days on the arm of another pretty girl from your building anyway. Besides, he was an ass and you didn’t want to give him what he wanted.

Your last thought before finally dozing off was the realisation that Max never came back tonight. And no one else did either.

*

The following Saturday is your weekend off and a few people from your class drag you out for a night on the town. Everyone knows you prefer to be home but they try to talk you into one night out and you can’t help but agree. You thrifted a pair of leather bell bottoms last term that still has the tags on them. It was time.

So, with a copy of Elizabeth Barrett Browning rolled up tightly in your purse (just in case, you weren’t trying to be a pick-me, you’d just been caught out waiting for a lift home by yourself more times than you cared to admit.) you head out for drinks with your friends and end up in a nightclub not long after. You are swaying your hips to the beat and spinning around carefree. Your friends are chanting your name and you can’t help but laugh. You had to admit, it felt nice to let loose every now and again.

It wasn’t a change of pace, per se, you went out, you knew how to have typical university student fun. You even went on the occasional date, but, and you admitted it was probably a bit snobby to say, the late nights, the boys... well, they weren’t especially intellectually stimulating. Not in the way a book was or the tiny Zagreus inside her switch. Still you can admit you have fun, and stay out much later than you’d thought.

When you stumble tiredly into the dorms just before 1 am, you are surprised to see the girl who does alternate weekends asleep in your chair. You didn’t want to be left working every weekend so you know you aren’t going to dob her in but it still annoys you to see her being so careless. There was a reason the girls who lived here had to sign in their visitors, everyone living here deserved to feel safe.

You slap the lip of the counter, shocking the girl so much she nearly falls from her chair. “Ellie, Hi, sorry, I was doing my physics homework.” She explains and you feel a little bit of sympathy. “Oh! Here, some guy dropped this off.” She passes you the book you let Max borrow last week. “He also told me to give you this.” She hands you a folded sign in sheet. “He tried really hard to get your room number from me, but I swear I didn’t give it to him, he called me a ‘stupid whore’ and then left these here. American” She offered as explanation.

“Thanks, sorry.” You offer with a grimace heading down the corridor with a final nod.

MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN

2133 361 6693

You went out? You can do that? Have fun? You’ll have more when you finally call me. I liked this Roxanne chick. I liked what you thought of her too. Maybe I’ll catch you next time and we can talk about it. What I don’t like is discount you at the front desk. Serious attitude. Snores like a truck too. Hope you had a good night, Gorgeous. -Max

You snort softly, tucking the note with the others and sliding the book back into its home on your bookshelf. This guy was unlike anyone you’d ever met, a total shit-stirring wanker and man-whore but for some reason, despite how much he annoyed you, you were beginning to find him entertaining and dare you say, endearing.

Suddenly you couldn’t wait for next week.

[monkeywiki]

RED ALERT- RAT HOLE HAS BEEN FILLED AFTER A GAY MARRIAGE WAS HELD BY IT. QUICKEST TIME CHICAGO ADDRESSES A POTHOLE BEFORE ANY OTHER DANGEROUS ONE THATS BEEN THERE FOR YEARS? INTERESTING

[charlesdesvoeux]

terror rewatch time!!! i'll be using this post to comment on ep. 5 "first shot a winner lads" block the tag terrorwatch2 if you'd like :-)

waaaait I didn't know dundy lost his toes also ❗️ STANVOEUX ALERT ❗️

goddd crozier being like "Hi ned!!!" and then ned has to say "a guy died :-/" this show is a comedy

poor ned is just so. exhausted. and the way he looks at jopson after crozier requests he collect Mr. Hornby's things!!!! the way he clearly prefers jopson to him!!!! "why can't I be the favorite son???"

the way!!!! hickey tries to pull goodsir but harry clocks him immediately!!!!!

that hickeygibson scene... the way there is obviously this transactional element to their relationship. but is absolutely not just transactional. billy's smile after hickey gives him the ring is frankly very earnest, very sweet- it's the closest thing they'll ever get to a marriage and he knows it. it's very serious!!! and then hickey says "unbutton your ears" and billy's smile falters bc its a reminder of. you know. it being transactional.

I think jirv's reaction to manson's fear is bc well. you know. the thing that irving clings to for sanity and emotional safety and structure and order is christianity and the idea of ghosts just goes contrary to all doctrine. and what if manson's right- what if he really heard them, does that mean ghosts are real??? if the church is wrong about ghosts what else is the church wrong about??? gay sex and then his castle crumbles just like that. he can't have that he just can't. and so he reacted with frankly a surprising amount of emotional violence but thats because the idea of a church tenet being wrong is emotionally violent TO HIM. and I mean also of course the discipline thing. bc I think jirv feels guilt in a sense of "well if I had ratted out hickey he would have been punished earlier and maybe the seeds of rebellion wouldn't have been planted and hartnell and manson wouldn't have gone with him and everything wouldn't be fucked so I NEED to be strict now" even if frankly I think he looks uncomfortable showing that aggression.

and then of course hickey slithers in and positions himself as a hero to manson. the officers are all so distant, they're authority figures, the ones who met out punishment- but that's not hickey, no, hickey is nice and funny and high spirited and he helped me i like hickey :-)

sol taking care of heather :-((( he takes his role as the leader of the marines very seriously- and if that entails cutting heather's nails and chatting to a practically dead man then so be it. also interesting in light of Dave K's q&a where he mentioned how they tried to keep an eye on physical touch on the show considering he holds poor heather's hand very tenderly. another sign of the pretenses of "proper" victorian masculinity fading away given the circumstances.

didn't remember ned being present on silna's "interrogation"; he makes a good suggestion- "maybe it's gone off, somehow" he's privy to a lot more information than I remembered actually!!! and the way he shakes his head when francis orders silna out, he know this is cruel and wrong. wonder if blanky hadn't stood up to francis if little would have (probably not I guess :-( he just would have done it anyway but pissed off, which is the story of his life)

goddddd the way blanky manages to somehow joke around even as he's about to get his leg cut off. that's my man <3

"jopson, I'd like you to join us"

ned seething with rage in the background at first as crozier announces he's drying out.....

it's just incredibly touching how he allows himself to be seen in this moment of great vulnerability. that's when his relationship with fitzjames starts to turn which of course would become incredibly important as the series unfolds.

[monniemonniee]

news alert:

gay wizards finally killed the damned white rat-like man who massacred masses, now their number one problem is what happens inside their pants and what happens after the pants are gone.

[dicktat]

Okay my thoughts on the renegades ending.

Turns out Juan isn’t as much of a bastard as I give him credit for. I was expecting full blown chaotic evil dictatorship (akin to Vass Montenegro/Rais) but…he’s decent. At least compared to them. He’s still a tyrant but not like a “I’m building a pit and sending men to fight because I enjoy gore” evil but more like a “lolz people are dying on the street but I got all the good whiskey so let’s party” evil. And throughout the story you can tell his intentions weren’t that bad (at least that’s what he tells Aiden). He did want to uncover Matt’s conspiracy and is honestly the first character to openly lay out the shitiness of that guy (besides the unnamed officer form a collectible tape). And provided decent evidence that Jack Matt was the culprit for Black Monday, and therefore a power hungry fascist leader who’s willing to gamble millions of life for his own goal. So in a way. What he said during his public execution on my first playthrough was kinda true. And he ordered a court martial, an official trail. Perhaps that’s the reason Jack Matt didn’t show up during the X-13 mission. I guess he was overthrown. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that he kinda became something worse LMAO. I’m not cutting this guy any slack he’s still a prick but he’s also pathetic and gay and whimpers because he hates seeing his own blood. (But you could also argue that, the renegades that took over Villedor weren’t the cardboard cutout evil henchmen commanded by Waltz but a separate group lead by colonel Williams which could be seen as less amoral). But the ending is also kinda spicy cuz if you look closely they are protesting on the STREETS at NIGHT without UV meaning the renegades either got rid of all the zombies or made the place much safer to walk around without dying. Which is a W imo. And I’d like to argue food shortage is better than water shortage in the PK ending. And if we are REALLY going that way I could also argue this ending at least let’s you protest unlike the fascist PK supreme. But yeah he’s still a funny loser prick too afraid to step out of his floating castle because he knows the people are mad at him. Over all the missions were fun too, there were a LOT of stealth/spying missions which weren’t exactly my strong suit. I failed a mission 3 times because I kept alerting the guards (that I can’t just fucking kill). My favorite was probably the cathedral demolisher fight. And strangely enough, the side quest where you fight Hakon is a main quest for this one. It’s essentially the same but something you can’t skip and plays a part in the story. Only difference: Even if you chose to spare Hakon, your relationship with him isn’t exactly fixed. EVEN if you get to the homoerotic I don’t want to fight you let’s see the ocean together part. If you convinced Lawan to spare him. Instead of Lawan letting him go he just BONKED HER ON THE HEAD while her back was turned. Also later on he showed up with the renegades, had the exact conversation I posted yesterday, and gross failed ex relationship ensued. Which leads me to believe my save file was corrupted, the game registered me as somehow taking the Juan route and therefore gave me that cutscene. The rest of the game is pretty much the same, the ending- Aiden leaves alone anyway but I think there’s NO reason he can’t leave with anyone? The city has gone to shit and what’s the point in staying. Or alternatively techland could have given us a renegades officer Aiden or co-rule ending if they weren’t COWARDS. Like cmon this would be such a cool idea. Aiden going full evil mode lol. Overall I think it was fun and I got to spend some time with my boy Juan and holy shit he talks so much and panics whenever something goes wrong (which working with him, means all the fucking time). Him almost losing it every time he thought something was wrong was hilarious. Feral rat man. And they have some good chemistry too. Like actual “Aiden going on some death trip to impress some boy” relationship. Then again I feel like we’ve been robbed. Like I said where’s my evil Aiden route lol.

[macybay947]

🚨💥 gay space rat alert 💥🚨💥 i repeat, gay space rat alert 💥🚨💥 this is not a drill people 💥🚨

[crownedtargaryen]

tldr: I love this already holy smokes 😭😭❤️

You strain your hand towards the ceiling, fingers wiggling. You can feel your toes pushing into the floor as if you can push yourself higher into the air. At least higher than him.

THE DESCRIPTORS HOLY SMOKES I LOVE 🤭🤭

Aemond Targaryen leans his back against his chair with ease, long arm stretched toward the sky. His expression is nonchalant, but mismatched eyes are alert. The sharp features of his face seem tense, as he waits in anticipation. He’s annoyingly handsome, you can’t deny, but being your arch-nemesis nearly erases the fact. 

i love and hate you YOU SMUG LITTLE RAT PUNCHES HIM GRAHHH

“That’s very feminist of you,” you snap, unable to help yourself. 

Aemond turns toward you on his desk. He always looks so odd sitting in the rolling chair, his long limbs overflowing. He raises an eyebrow at you, jaw clenching.

“I’m being historically accurate,” Aemond argues, tapping his long fingers on the desk.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you tell him, leaning back and crossing your arms over your chest. 

I have to admit this name me giggle but damn… Aemond in his anti-women arc? Just say it. Ur gay. We been knew. /j

He smirks at you, clearly giddy at the rise he’s getting out of you. Well, as giddy as Aemond Targaryen can get. He’s not really a giddy kind of person, with his all-black outfits that match the stupid all-black coffee he brings every class.

HEY EMO BOYYY HEY HEY HEY EMO BOYYYY !!! something is purring and it ain’t my cat…

“Well she shouldn’t have sired bastards,” Aemond argues shaking his head.

“Sired?” you mock narrowing your eyes, “what’re we in the medieval ages?”

“We’re talking about it genius,” Aemond says. 

I have news for you guys… 👁👁

“Literature major,” he snorts, “of course.”

“What the hell does that mean?” 

“That major is a waste of time,” he says smugly. 

“Says the philosophy major,” you snap back. 

Aemond leans forward, ready to snap when your professor claps his hands together. 

STAY MAD AEMOND. STAY MAD. IM A LIT MAJOR AND U JUST HAVE A SKILL ISSUE.

“Asshole,” you mutter, watching his shoulders tense. 

“Know it all,” he snarls. 

I hate to admit it…. I want him fr.

“Will you two just bang already?”

an ego thing ~ modern!Aemond x Reader

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 request: Academic rivals to lovers during a VERY heated argument please??? 🥺 note: happy valentines my loves I hope you enjoy!! 💚 warnings: language word count: 1.2k read more of my work here!

“So what do we think?” your professor asks, leaning against their desk, “was the war justified? What are our thoughts?”

The room is silent. Your 8:00 AM history seminar is usually quiet aside from the droning of your professor and the snores of a student slumped against their desk in the back. 

Two hands shoot into the air, desperate to be chosen first.

You strain your hand towards the ceiling, fingers wiggling. You can feel your toes pushing into the floor as if you can push yourself higher into the air. At least higher than him.

Aemond Targaryen leans his back against his chair with ease, long arm stretched toward the sky. His expression is nonchalant, but mismatched eyes are alert. The sharp features of his face seem tense, as he waits in anticipation. He’s annoyingly handsome, you can’t deny, but being your arch-nemesis nearly erases the fact. 

The gods are on your side today, as your professor meets your gaze and sends you a nod. You grin triumphantly, mouth twisted in a smile.

“The black queen was named heir,” you begin, after taking a deep breath, “the king wanted his daughter to be queen. I think that should have been respected, especially by the greens. Far less bloodshed would have happened if she ascended to the throne.”

Your professor nods at your answer and you feel a rush go through you at his approval. Nothing feels as good as a teacher’s praise. Something you learned early on in your education and carried with you even now. 

Aemond snorts beside you, earning a glare from you. That’s another annoying thing about Aemond; no matter what the class is, if you’re in it he is planting his desk right beside yours. An obnoxious shadow he makes. 

“You disagree, Mr. Targaryen?” your professor asks, crossing their arms. 

“Of course I do,” Aemond says, side-eyeing you. Your nose scrunches in displeasure.

It truly did not matter which side you took, Aemond would take the opposite. Both of you are vigorous students, and someone always annoyingly in the same classes. He seems to follow you through all your general education classes each semester. You argue like dogs fighting over a bone in your searches for academic validation.

“Go on,” your professor encourages him, as your fingers curl into your palms.

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Aemond argues, “the realm would never have accepted her as a queen with her father’s firstborn son living.”

“That’s very feminist of you,” you snap, unable to help yourself. 

Aemond turns toward you on his desk. He always looks so odd sitting in the rolling chair, his long limbs overflowing. He raises an eyebrow at you, jaw clenching.

“I’m being historically accurate,” Aemond argues, tapping his long fingers on the desk.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” you tell him, leaning back and crossing your arms over your chest. 

You can feel your cheeks heating up as Aemond stares at you, his lips curling into a snarl.

“If she ascended the throne, there would have been an uprising sooner or later,” Aemond continues and you roll your eyes. 

“Her sons were bastards, a threat to the very institution of the kingdom if her son ascended after her-”

“Oh come on!” you say, tilting your head to look at the ceiling, “her sons were legitimized, they were claimed by her husband as his trueborn sons, her trueborn heirs-”

“The text is very clear about it being known amongst the common people-”

“Text was written by men to keep other men in power in a patriarchal system-”

“Here we go.”

Your head snaps forward. 

“What?” you quip, fury written across your face. You notice your voice has been increasing in volume but you don’t care. Aemond Targaryen makes your blood boil. 

He smirks at you, clearly giddy at the rise he’s getting out of you. Well, as giddy as Aemond Targaryen can get. He’s not really a giddy kind of person, with his all-black outfits that match the stupid all-black coffee he brings every class.

“You’re bringing it back to gender when it's not about that,” Aemond says shaking his head, “if her sons inherited the throne after her, the entire realm would have crumbled.”

“You are so dramatic,” you accuse, “and it absolutely is about gender. She was her father’s chosen heir.”

“Well she shouldn’t have sired bastards,” Aemond argues shaking his head.

“Sired?” you mock narrowing your eyes, “what’re we in the medieval ages?”

“We’re talking about it genius,” Aemond says. 

“Okay everyone!” your professor says clapping his hands together, “ceasefire you two.” 

Your professor chuckles, trying to ease the tension you’ve created in the classroom to no avail. Aemond and you are leaning toward each other as if at any moment one of you will jump from your seat attacking the other. 

Aemond leans back first, hand clenching around his coffee cup and bringing it to his lips. The prominent veins of the back of his hand bulge with how tightly he holds the cup. You slouch back in your seat. 

“Let’s explore a different role,” your professor suggests, “what would have been in the best interest of the common folk?”

Aemond’s hand shoots into the air. Your professor points at him.

“The king’s daughter was never present at court, she had no idea what the people needed, she spent barely any time present at council-”

You let out a dramatic sigh at his response. 

“She was pushed out, by the king’s new wife I might add who was aiding her father, the hand of the king, in the plans to usurp the throne,” you challenge as Aemond shakes his head. 

“There is no record of the queen having any knowledge of those plans-”

“Read between the lines,” you say, cutting him off.

“Isn’t that what you should be doing?” Aemond says crossing his arms, “preferably in another class more related to your major.”

Your cheeks flush. 

“I take lit classes too,” you snarl, “this is a gen ed class.”

“Literature major,” he snorts, “of course.”

“What the hell does that mean?” 

“That major is a waste of time,” he says smugly. 

“Says the philosophy major,” you snap back. 

Aemond leans forward, ready to snap when your professor claps his hands together. 

“Okay!” he says, voice hoarse, “I think that’s enough discussion for today. I want three pages submitted tonight about who you think should have inherited the throne. Two sources minimum, people!” 

The noise level in the class rises as students shove their papers and books into their bags, rising from their desks eager to leave the lecture. 

You tuck your books into your bags, heart pounding from the intense conversation. Aemond has already risen from his seat, tossing his coffee cup into the recycling bin before exiting the classroom. You scurry after him, not ready to give up the fight. 

You nearly run into him as you exit the classroom, he’s stopped outside the doorway, tucking a book into his backpack. 

“Asshole,” you mutter, watching his shoulders tense. 

“Know it all,” he snarls. 

“For fuck’s sake!” a voice calls behind you. 

Aemond and you turn, meeting the face of your previously sleeping classmate Luke Velaryon. His hair is ruffled, and he rubs the sleep from his eyes with an exasperated look on his face. He eyes you and Aemond.

“Will you two just bang already?”

Your mouth falls open, eyes wide as saucers. Aemond stands eerily still beside you. Luke raises his eyebrows, as your cheeks begin to burn. You meet Aemond’s eyes, blue and violet, for a brief moment, before you both look away. Aemond clears his throat, and you swallow hard. 

“As if,” you say, forcing a laugh, before pushing by Aemond.

“Yeah,” Aemond agrees, watching you leave, “in your dreams.”

note: do we want a part 2? 👀

EDIT: I wrote part 2 😏

[homestuck-human-generator]

Name: Mr. Joye Sartini Color: Dark Coral #D75341 Symbol: skull Strife Specibus: canekind Handle: tornGabion Animal: donkey Pronouns: ze/zir/zir/zirs/zirself Age: 34 Birthday: 322th day of the year Sexuality: gay Interests: houseplant care and badminton Dream Moon: derse Classpect: Muse of Breath Land: Land of Tea and Frost, an alert place, with eager Great Plains rat snake consorts. It is a place full of geysers of godly tears and haunted houses. Adrastea can't wait to meet the player. Instrument: sarrusophone

[dearest-infinity]

guess who's FINALLY back

so ik i was dead for a long time. sorry about that, can't promise it won't happen again, but hey! i got some better outlines for my wips and new directions things are going in :> so while i might've been in a bit of a creative coma, i'm slowly clawing my way back to the surface lmao

anyway! since it's been a hell of a long time: what's up, name's moony (or lune, if you're feeling formal), pronouns he/him or ze/hir, and i'm a fantasy writer!

the wips i'm focusing on are, at the moment:

wrong side of legendary: an urban fantasy work about a keith, traumatized former prince, cross, the rat bastard keith summons when he tries to do something for his roommate, and saying fuck you to the world and the people they were supposed to be. mlm, just a teeny bit spooky

red rise: soft sci-fi fantasy that the outline is worrying me with the projected word count of, oh god that's centered around kyra, a girl with a sun living in her chest, trying to save the universe from an empire that can never really outrun the destruction it leaves in its wake, and silena, her best-friend-turned-desperate-enemy who's the golden girl of the empire and owes her life and more to it. there are so so so many sad lesbians in this. i am not immune to sad lesbians and neither are you.

dark eyes (name under construction): tragic fantasy. levi is the town witch, and it's her job to keep everyone safe from the magical forest that surrounds them and, should it come down to it, the fae that live in it. this... does not go very well. one day, levi wakes up to the entire town having been overrun by the forest, and the townspeople either turned to wood or vanished. as she sets out to right this, she encounters branwen, a forest fae who will help her in exchange for one thing: her heart. i love them dearly, your honor.

and of course, the backburner wips:

elle is waiting (by the bodies of your gods): retired apocalypse-ender yis'sika and her wife rhoze are called upon, once again, save the world from— huh. it seems no one can really tell them. no one except a girl who claims to be from another world, and a young woman made of flowers who claims to be yis'sika and rhoze's daughter. no one trusts each other, but the clock is ticking. the statues have eyes. and elle is always, always, waiting.

black lightning: nova and zenith are vigilante partners who know and trust each other with everything in their fight against the corrupt system—everything, except their identities. this becomes a problem when nova, civilian name estelle, is scouted to become an intelligent, a once-human, now-machine enforcer of the law, and is brought into the glass palace—which, despite its name, is impossible to get anything in or out of. zenith, civilian name zhen, realizes that something must've happened, and tries to save nova from whatever fate has befallen her; a course that takes her to the glass palace. it may be the lion's den, but with the two of them working together, they might be able to strike at the heart of the power that's hurt so many. also they're gay. they're really gay. fluffy wlw superhero action (with just a teeny touch of the body horror. TINY)

unnamed wip (time travel sapphics flavored): fellas, is it gay to time travel to save the world? no? fine. is it gay to time travel to save your really really hot dyke best friend? THERE WE GO. wlw and happy for once!!!

unnamed wip (wild west flavored): an immortal necromancer wants to fulfill the natural order and die. a sunwraith cowboy, risen from the grave to have its justice—or is it revenge?—, wants to live the life stolen from it. i won't lie, i don't know much about this one, but it's gay and bittersweet.

postcard from the end times: this one's actually going to be a comic! fantasy story about a bunch of kids who go to trauma school and try really, really hard to win in a system that's trying to farm them for all the misery they can produce. spoiler alert: it doesn't work. so, new plan: kill the school and everyone behind it. salt and burn until the cancer's dead, and keep going until it can't claw itself out of its own grave. what's god to a shit ton of angry teenagers? killable.

woagh. that was a lot. anyway, love you all! good luck this year, hopefully it's better than the last ;;-;;

[loroliyesplaything]

everyone look at Sera! some info:

Seraphina "Sera" Lockforth

She/Her

5'2

Fire mage 🔥

20 years old

She has run away from her father's home to try and find a life of her own. She couldn't bring much with her, but she was sure to bring Billy, the little reindeer plush, and Baby Bear, the old, crusty, stinky teddy bear (who are REAL BOIS IRL AAAA)

She is very shy and small (but chumby). But do *NOT* underestimate her. She is a big fan of animals, especially skunks, spiders, and rats!

also. Big Gay! Lesbian alert! (■_■¬)

(ps here's the bois)

Baby Bear--new and improved vs old stinky old!

Billy

[mutable-manifestation]

Danny puts in the hours to figure out duplicates faster expressly so he can flirt w/Wes as Fenton & Phantom at the same time

(everyone sees them both at the same time & just 'see they aren't the same person)

& you know Danny is milking this bit for all its worth.

He does the whole dedicate wins/wink/throw kisses as phantom a good two weeks

Then he starts up as Fenton.

Fentons don't do half measures: the first thing he does is present Wes with a bouquette of three red roses surrounded by blue hyacinths, white roses, & forget-me-nots.

Then he hands him a box.

Spoiler alert: Danny bought a triple star system and named the stars "Fenton," "Weston," and "Phantom."

He goes to class before Wes can formulate a reply.

The school is losing their minds like "hey okay so Fenton doesn't mind Wes dating both Dannys?"

"No way he's obviously just making grand gestures to try & win him over while doing his best to ignore his jealousy"

"But have you seen Phantom? Who wouldn't have a crush on him?"

"Maybe the ghost hunters' kid who runs every time he sees something green or feels even slightly chilly?"

"He could just be shy!"

Yeah, Casper high (& Amity in general) are going wild making up theories about it all, and Danny isn't answering questions.

He does keep it up with the gifts tho.

The next it's a bag of Wes' favorite food - chocolate covered raspberries.

Then it's a pair of anti-ecto knuckles (like brass knuckles, but for fighting ghosts).

Then Phantom gives him a necklace made of what looks like pure diamonds (it's ghost ice).

So the next day Fenton doesn't have a gift & they worry maybe it was jealousy.

Until he walks in with a jewelry box the next morning like "Sorry it took so long. I had little trouble figuring out how to get the crystallization just right." He opens the box to a necklace that shines like emerald. Danny explains that it's crystallized ectoplasm.

(Danny fully kicked his parents out of the lab. He lured them into the kitchen then locked the door behind him. They're half ready to bash in the door when he's like "I need the lab so I can one-up Phantom!" They have him let them watch 'for safety reasons' and he's like "FINE but touch NOTHING." They're in awe about the crystal ecto. Danny has to swat their hands away several times throughout the process tho lol)

Wes out here like "I don't even wear necklaces???"

This goes on for another week before both Dannys are seen together for the first time: together, handing him a basketball signed by his ten favorite players.

Wes is just mentally screaming bc it's the best gift ever but how are there two of him???

A lot people were worried that even if Fenton wasn't scared of Phantom, Phantom might dislike him for being a Fenton, so one of the A-listers is like "so you guys get along? You're not, like, jealous of each other?"

"Nope!" Fenton grins bright, cheerful.

"We've come to an agreement," Phantom looks like the cat that ate the canary as he drapes an arm over Fenton's shoulder.

They look to Wes, speaking as one "We don't mind sharing."

Wes turns beet red and makes a noise like a dying animal (a dying 'in denial' more like lol).

Jack & Maddie appear, ofc, & the phantom dupe sinks into the ground & cancels itself. Then they lecture Danny & Wes about ghosts being evil/not dateable. Forbid Danny from being involved w/Phantom even if it is indirectly via same boyfriend & tell Wes they'll talking to his parents as well about the whole ghost thing

The A-listers nearby try to argue about it being romantic/phantom being a hero, but they ignore & take Danny home. Cue Amity going absolutely feral about the move from 'ghost & hunter's child competing for a partner' to 'forbidden romance between ghost, human, & ghost hunter child'

Danny starts talking up Phantom when people ask if he thinks he's cute. Wes gets moody about it bc he's like 'ur inflating ur own ego u rat bastard' but Danny just 'there's no need to be jealous, Wes' *looks him up & down 'you're cute too'

Wes' gay ass is struggling with his enemies-to-lovers gay awakening. Manz is going tomato colors on the reg now. He goes for to a movie or something with Danny & gaslights himself about it like 'ah yes, an opportunity to try and gather more evidence. Despite the fact that I forgot all of my recording devices at home...'

Danny giving his parents the silent treatment until they start treating phantom like a person.

Maybe he lets them catch a duplicate when he thinks they actually want to talk to Phantom & hear him out? idk

I just need a fanfic where everyone thinks that Wes keeps saying that Danny and Phantom are the same person because he has a crush on both of them and it's in his negation phase.

He does not. He swear he doesn't. You just don't understand. There's a whole investigation made by himself to PROVE that they're, indeed, the same person.

And they go all like, yes Wes, we know you are a little bit crazy about love but we respect and support you as long as you don't become a stalker or worse. We accepted ghosts, we can accept a poly boy.

And Danny doesn't help. He's all "oh Wea, I didn't know you think so good about me 😳😳😳" And Wes all "I DON'T" and Sam/Tuxker all "You don't treat my child like that."

Phantom,on the other side starts to flirt with him, jokingly. Dedicating him some wins, throwing him kisses, winking an wye in his direction, etc.

Amity Park is sure that there's a whole love triangle and it's kind of fucked up because in one side we have the strongest ghost and in the other side we have tiny child from ghost busters. That's drama.

It's their fucking novel, tea, whatever. They eat this shit, they inhale it, they live and only live for this shit. This is THE Drama.

Wes just wants to cry at this point.